How to Identify and Avoid Toxic Entrepreneurial Advice.

In a perfect world, entrepreneurs seek support from their loved ones when embarking on new ventures, hoping for the positive reinforcement, motivation, and support they need to succeed. So, the last thing entrepreneurs and innovators should worry about is the toxicity of hidden messages in seemingly helpful advice from friends, family, and colleagues. Unfortunately, alongside the genuine support they expect, they also face a barrage of well-meaning yet highly toxic advice with devastating side effects.

This type of advice amplifies feelings of doubt and fear, fostering a defeatist mentality that hinders progress and forces entrepreneurs to approach their endeavors from a place of lack. Rather than being the wind beneath their wings, this advice quickly transforms into the turbulence they must navigate.

To avoid having your entrepreneurial aspirations diminished, be on the lookout for these seven toxic types of entrepreneurial advice:

1.      Passive Advice (i.e., for Your Own Good)-This common form of advice subtly discourages entrepreneurs from taking risks. It often comes from those closest to you who believe they know you better than you know yourself. They might say things like, "I know how you act when..." or "I want to make sure you're not getting in over your head..."

2.      Silent or Avoidant Advice—Silent advice is not advice at all; it's an attempt not to provide an opinion or advice. Most noticeable when someone's response to your endeavor is quick and short or to whom you've confided in a past endeavor. Their quick, nonchalant, or topic-changing reactions signal feelings of apprehension, disapproval, and doubt. Silent advice can come from anyone. Typical responses include, "Well, OK, good for you?” "Whatever happened to?" or “Nice, that sounds cool.”

3.      Unsolicited Advice—This is advice you didn't ask for, often given by anyone who wants to help but lacks detailed knowledge of your situation. The advice given tends to rely on hearsay or general knowledge and can convey that the advisor is not taking the issue seriously. This advice can be overwhelming, confusing, and distracting. It usually starts with phrases like “I have a friend who...,' "Well, you know ...,” or “ I heard that…”

4.     Preparation Advice— Often offered as warnings by friends and family, preparation advice is well-intentioned but sprinkled with a dash of apprehension and other people's worries. It distracts entrepreneurs by burdening them with unnecessary worries. Of course, being prepared is a positive, especially when based on researched data and not what others think. It often includes phrases like, "You should know that..." or "Watch out for..."

5.      Endearing Advice—Although advice using the phrases "If I didn't love you or care about you" and "It's a good thing I care about you otherwise" may seem sincere, it can lead to toxic conversations disguised as advice among family and friends. It often implies that their emotional support is the only one you can trust, discouraging seeking help from others.

This type of advice aims to control your actions through emotional connections according to their beliefs, fostering distrust and making you feel that their loyalty is more important than external support. This is especially true for controlling family members and friends. Ironically, those who give this form of toxic support are often inaccessible when needed and later highly judgmental about your choices.

6.      Good Luck Advice – When someone offers advice that ends with "Good luck," it often suggests they may doubt your ability to succeed and believe luck is essential. While many consider wishing good luck a positive gesture, it can undermine your confidence in your skills and create fear, making you hesitant to act if you feel unlucky or believe the odds are against you.

7.      Humorous Advice— Also considered cynical or sarcastic, humorous advice can be toxic. When a friend, loved one, or colleague jokes about your entrepreneurial efforts and mocks your flaws, they undermine your potential for success, not to mention your self-confidence. Such comments signal a lack of faith in you and your venture by not taking it seriously or turning it into a joke, often ending with "I'm just kidding” or “I'm just giving you a hard time."   

Identifying toxic entrepreneurial advice can be challenging, especially from those closest to you. Such advice can create emotional confusion and lead entrepreneurs to hesitate or feel discouraged.

Stop openly sharing your plans that may expose you to toxic advice to avoid being led into an uncomfortable and potentially damaging situation. Instead, keep your journey private or exclusive to those who are prepared to give you solid advice. This can offer emotional and mental protection, allowing you to focus on achieving your goals.

In short, investing in professional advice is wise, as it comes without hidden agendas. Professionals genuinely want to see you succeed, providing clear and straightforward support. While it may cost more, it ensures progress and can offer other financial incentives.